Over the years, my shoe style has changed, and when that happens, I usually don’t rush to get rid of what no longer fits my vibe. I tend to hold on and keep moving them from shelf to shelf in my closet until they begin to look run down and flat. #forreal Who else is guilty of doing such a thing.
But today, I finally decided it was time to clean out my closet and donate the shoes that no longer fit into my space or my lifestyle.
When I buy shoes, I’m usually in a certain mood. Sometimes I know exactly what I want, and other times it’s a straight impulse buy. Either way, there’s always some kind of feeling attached when I make a purchase like that, which is probably why I don’t just throw shoes away. I donate them, yes, but usually only when I’m in a full purge season. To be honest I have a thing about buying shoes even if i don’t like them.
This might sound like a strange topic for today’s blog, but stick with me, because this wasn’t really about shoes. I just recently noticed something about my life that is tied to shoes. And, although I am sitting in closet looking at shoes I don’t like anyways, I am still having a problem letting them go. :(
A few weeks ago, I got rid of some clothes I knew needed to go. Things that were too small, too big, or just never worn. Letting them go made sense, even though it wasn’t easy. So when I found myself standing in my closet again today, looking at all the shoes I’ve collected over the years, I already knew deep down that I needed to make room for something new.
I sat down on the floor, and almost immediately I felt nervous, which didn’t make sense to me at all. I kept telling myself it was just shoes and that shoes are meant to be changed out from time to time, but my body clearly wasn’t on the same page. Some may say I am a hoarder but it’s deeper than that to me.
So, I started moving things around, heels on one side, boots on another, thinking I was making progress. Hours passed, and then it hit me. I hadn’t actually taken a single pair out. Instead, my chest felt tight, my breathing felt off, and before I knew it, I was having a mild anxiety moment. At that point, I couldn’t even remember why I went into my closet in the first place. #realstory
After sitting there for a while and making myself a cup of tea, I finally slowed down enough to think. That’s when it became clear to me. I was emotionally attached to my shoes, even though I had walked into that room with the full intention of donating them.
When something bothers me, I’ve been learning to sit still, breathe, and talk myself through it. It might sound odd, but it works for me. I realized I was fine right up until the moment I actually had to let something go, and that’s when everything inside me kicked up. I had to pause and figure out what was really happening. I am attached to these shoes, although I don’t want them at all.
As I picked up each pair, I found a reason to keep them, even when the reasons didn’t make sense. A couple of pairs weren’t even my style anymore and had been sitting untouched for months. One pair hurts my big toe every time I walk in them, and another pair just looks ridiculous on my feet. I already knew all of this, yet I was still holding on. Stay with me I am going somewhere with this topic and it is delaying my style.
After a few talks with myself, I realized it wasn’t about the shoes at all. I was afraid of starting over in the next phase of my style. Those shoes represented comfort, familiarity, and ownership, and letting them go felt bigger than it should have, even though I knew I needed to.
I’ve learned that sometimes the smallest things can shift my mood or make me feel sad at letting go, and most of the time it’s because I’m holding onto something that no longer fits. My goal isn’t to have everything figured out. My goal is to recognize what’s happening and keep moving forward without staying stuck in my closet.
So I kept going. I talked myself through it while cleaning out my closet and reminded myself that what no longer works for me might be perfect for someone else. Little by little, my mood started to change, and once everything was boxed up and ready to go, I felt lighter and relieved.
When I walked back into my closet afterward, it felt different. It felt open, calm, and unbothered. For the first time that day, I felt free.
Looking back, it wasn’t the shoes that caused my anxiety. It was the act of letting go. Releasing something I was used to holding onto brought up emotions I wasn’t expecting, and that’s okay. If you can relate to this, know that you’re not weird or odd. My style has not changed. I am just ready to be free in wearing what the FUNK I want.
I’m learning new things about myself every day, including how to deal with moments that feel out of my control. Clearing out what no longer fit my life was exactly what I needed to do, and yes, I made room for a few new pairs of shoes too. I’m not mad about that at all and a new post will be coming soon.
I know people love reading blogs that feel light and happy all the time, and I do too, but real life is happening to real people. This space is about honesty, growth, and becoming whole at any stage in your style. I don’t have it all together, even with a stable life, and some days I’m upbeat while other days I feel emotional for no clear reason. That’s just real life and my shoe cleaning out made me realize it’s time to go shopping. :) You thought I was going to donate all my shoes and not buy more. #girlLet’sgo :)
Orange shoes: G by Guess
Black pair: Target
Brown pair: Target
Open toe black: Ross
Boots: Boohoo
Black Flats With Buckle By Steve Madden: I kept those. Yes, I did:)
What’s something you’ve let go of lately that made you feel lighter? Drop in the comments , let's chat.
Until next time, Wear What The FUNK You Want And That’s On Every FUNKY Thang!
xo,Tangie
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